Happy Halloween 4: The Space Man Attack
by Eogrus
Summary: Everyone is having a nice time in Carcosa, but Kylo Ren appears! Oh noes!


It was a dark and black night, a void punctuated by the evil lights of the stars, the black stars that rise and the strange moons that circle in Lost Carcosa.

There, Jeanne and Bayonetta were tippy-toeing in the water while Norman and Coraline played frisky on the shoreline. They had a rule: whoever threw the frisbee got undressed, and they were all out of bubblegum. And kicking ass. Meanwhile, the undead were rowing on the lake, Sally and Jack romantically cruising the waters, the former made into a boat with a siren's head and boobs sticking out. Lots of putrid green pus emanated from the spaces between the stitch marks, trailing the black and sordid waters with purifying green.

"Do you likes my merrow look?" Sally said shyly.

"If ever, thou art thy most beautiful creation of the creator of creation!" kissed Jack passionately, and bats defecated love on his shoulders.

Finally, cat was having sex with Snagglepuss. Dean Winchester was still attached to the pink cat's ass through his dick, it hadn't came out and it was glued to the rectum through morbid brown shit, but he didn't take, he was taking boogers off his nose and eating them. Cat penetrated the same ass, double penetrating Snagglepuss and removing the shit with his barbs, ripping through Dean's flesh and infecting it with Streptococcus, which rapidly consumed his penis and turned it into a black, rotting banana, the urethra expelled from a side hole in the shaft and hollowing it out.

"Oh this is the most pleasure I've ever felt!" moaned Dean happily, ejaculating yellow rotten pus through his hollowed penis, which mixed into the shit and precum inside Snagglepus' rectum.

Unfortunately, that caused an evil disturbance in the force, and the sky whitened.

"Aw, now it's not dark anymore" Bayonetta cried, so she took a gun to her temples and committed suicide.

"Yeah, it's not Halloween anymore!" lamented Coraline as she fisted Norman's bloody rectum.

An evil tin-coated man waltzed in on the shore, marching like an irritated goose of condolences. He took out his mask, and revealed a luxurious lustful face and whipped out his hair. It was...KAYLA WRECKED!

"Mm yes now the light side has taken over haw haw haw" he laughed victorianly.

"WTF I thought you hated the light!" said Jack offendedly.

"Yah, but like then I discovered that light = lasers and shit, plus I can use the power of the very suns now" Kyla said logically, "The dark side is totally lame in comparison."

"Mm, good point" mused Cat.

"Here, I'll prove it" Kylo said, swinging his hair that looked like the finest silk from consecrated caterpillars.

He shone a light at Jeanne's eyes and exploded them, blinding her. He made a white laser that set Dean Winchester on fire, utterly obliterating him. He casted a light so strong that the lake evaporated entirely, and was replaced by illusions of white labyrinths, leading to one's death by hypothermia. Finally, he commanded the very stars to consume a third of the universe, especially Invader Zim.

"So I guess Halloween is over now" said everyone, and they lowered their ears.

"Exit stage sadness" cried Snagglepuss, and he went away.

Kylo Ren made his ass clean with purifying light, that gave him colon cancer anyways. He healed Norman's now that Coraline was too depressed to finger, but now he had no anus.

They sat for a while, until Dipper's ghost appeared!

"My love!" said Norman with bitter tears, remembering all the times they spent together.

"I know" Dipper cried happily, "And we will be together! Halloween is the time of darkness and death, when the dead reunited with the living!"

"Isn't that Dia de los Muertos?" asked Coco, Leo and Manolo, who were having anal sex with AIDS filled prostitutes.

"NO!" everyone else cried in rage, and Kyla Rekked made a WALL of light around them.

"Anyways, you must bring back Halloween" Dipper said, kissing Norman's penis, to no avail because they were ghost lips, "Only then can you bring me back to life."

And thus he disappeared, and Norman's heart was filled with a righteous rage.

"He's right!" he said, "Darkness is inherent to men's hearts! Halloween is a time when we celebrate that darkness, let it consume us and turn us into literal and figurative monsters! The light oppresses us, suppresses us, and it must end! Who's with me?"

Everyone raised a hand, and the spirit of Halloween awashed over our courageous group!

"For glory!" shouted Caroline.  
"For justice!" shouted Jack.  
"For love!" shouted Sally.  
"For fortitude!" shouted Snagglepuss, who came back.  
"For prudence!" shouted Jeanne.  
"For righteousness!" shouted Cereza, who was now a zombie demon with wings on her tits.  
"For truth!" shouted the cat.  
"For compassion!" shouted the mexican people trapped in the wall of light.  
"In name of the Moon, may this poser be sent to HELL!" shouted Norman, and his eyes glowed pure pink.

And the moon opened a dark portal, and tendrils of darkness reached around Kylo Ren. But he burned them with his light!

"Foolish FOOLS, the light always wins over the dark!" he cackled respectfully and politely.

"No!" shouted Coraline angrily.

She did a ninja move and teleported behind his ass. She then shoved a boot up his rectum, and Kylo Ren LOVED it.

"Oh, like that time Snork raped me as a child" he moaned happily.

In that moaning, a tencattle of darkness grabbed him by his opened mouth and dragged him to hell, filling his mouth like a penis. He sucked and loved on it with much pleasure, disappearing into the unpossible darkness beyond the stars.

And so everything went back to normal, and our heroes enjoyed Halloween. But unknown to them, the wall of light crumbled!

"Yes, rejoice while you can" Leo said, licking his lips like a prollapsed guiter player, "Darkness is in the hearts of men, but a greater darkness exists than than Halloween..."

To be continued!? 


End file.
